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The Investor Sentiment - Equity and investments forum for Sri Lankans

The Lankan Investor Forum - A more respectable and reasonable place for members to discuss matters regarding the CSEThe Lankan Investor Forum - A more respectable and reasonable place for members to discuss matters regarding the CSE

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Latest topics

» CCS.N0000 ( Ceylon Cold Stores)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Mar 20, 2024 11:31 am by Hawk Eye

» Sri Lanka plans to allow tourists from August, no mandatory quarantine
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Sep 13, 2023 12:16 pm by lauryfriese

» When Will It Be Safe To Invest In The Stock Market Again?
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Apr 19, 2023 6:41 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Dividend Announcements
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Apr 12, 2023 5:41 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» MAINTENANCE NOTICE / නඩත්තු දැනුම්දීම
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Apr 06, 2023 3:18 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» ඩොලර් මිලියනයක මුදල් සම්මානයක් සහ “ෆීල්ඩ්ස් පදක්කම” පිළිගැනීම ප්‍රතික්ෂේප කළ ගණිතඥයා
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Apr 02, 2023 7:28 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» SEYB.N0000 (Seylan Bank PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Mar 30, 2023 9:25 am by yellow knife

» Here's what blind prophet Baba Vanga predicted for 2016 and beyond: It's not good
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Mar 30, 2023 9:25 am by HaeroMaero

» The Korean Way !
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Mar 29, 2023 7:09 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» In the Meantime Within Our Shores!
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Mar 27, 2023 5:51 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» What is Known as Dementia?
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Mar 24, 2023 10:09 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» SRI LANKA TELECOM PLC (SLTL.N0000)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Mar 20, 2023 5:18 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» THE LANKA HOSPITALS CORPORATION PLC (LHCL.N0000)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Mar 20, 2023 5:10 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Equinox ( වසන්ත විෂුවය ) !
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Mar 20, 2023 4:28 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» COMB.N0000 (Commercial Bank of Ceylon PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Mar 19, 2023 4:11 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» REXP.N0000 (Richard Pieris Exports PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Mar 19, 2023 4:02 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» RICH.N0000 (Richard Pieris and Company PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Mar 19, 2023 3:53 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Do You Have Computer Vision Syndrome?
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Mar 18, 2023 7:36 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» LAXAPANA BATTERIES PLC (LITE.N0000)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Mar 16, 2023 11:23 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» What a Bank Run ?
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Mar 15, 2023 5:33 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» 104 Technical trading experiments by HUNTER
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Mar 15, 2023 4:27 pm by katesmith1304

» GLAS.N0000 (Piramal Glass Ceylon PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Mar 15, 2023 7:45 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Cboe Volatility Index
Male/Female at ATM EmptyTue Mar 14, 2023 5:32 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» AHPL.N0000
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Mar 12, 2023 4:46 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» TJL.N0000 (Tee Jey Lanka PLC.)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Mar 12, 2023 4:43 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» CTBL.N0000 ( CEYLON TEA BROKERS PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Mar 12, 2023 4:41 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» COMMERCIAL DEVELOPMENT COMPANY PLC (COMD. N.0000))
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Mar 10, 2023 4:43 pm by yellow knife

» Bitcoin and Cryptocurrency
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Mar 10, 2023 1:47 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» CSD.N0000 (Seylan Developments PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Mar 10, 2023 10:38 am by yellow knife

» PLC.N0000 (People's Leasing and Finance PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Mar 09, 2023 8:02 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Bakery Products ?
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Mar 08, 2023 5:30 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» NTB.N0000 (Nations Trust Bank PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Mar 05, 2023 7:24 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Going South
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Mar 04, 2023 10:47 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» When Seagulls Follow the Trawler
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Mar 02, 2023 10:22 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Re-activating
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Feb 25, 2023 5:12 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» අපි තමයි හොඳටම කරේ !
Male/Female at ATM EmptyTue Feb 14, 2023 3:54 pm by ruwan326

» මේ අර් බුධය කිසිසේත්ම මා විසින් නිර්මාණය කල එකක් නොවේ
Male/Female at ATM EmptyTue Jan 03, 2023 6:43 pm by ruwan326

» SAMP.N0000 (Sampath Bank PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Nov 30, 2022 8:24 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» APLA.N0000 (ACL Plastics PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Nov 18, 2022 7:49 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» AVOID FALLING INTO ALLURING WEEKEND FAMILY PACKAGES.
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Nov 16, 2022 9:28 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Banks, Finance & Insurance Sector Chart
Male/Female at ATM EmptyTue Nov 15, 2022 5:26 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» VPEL.N0000 (Vallibel Power Erathna PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Nov 13, 2022 12:15 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» DEADLY COCKTAIL OF ISLAND MENTALITY AND PARANOID PERSONALITY DISORDER MIX.
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Nov 07, 2022 6:36 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» WATA - Watawala
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Nov 05, 2022 8:44 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» KFP.N0000(Keels Food Products PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Nov 05, 2022 8:42 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Capital Trust Broker in difficulty?
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Oct 21, 2022 5:25 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» IS PIRATING INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY A BOON OR BANE?
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Oct 20, 2022 10:13 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» What Industry Would You Choose to Focus?
Male/Female at ATM EmptyTue Oct 11, 2022 6:39 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Should I Stick Around, or Should I Follow Others' Lead?
Male/Female at ATM EmptyTue Oct 11, 2022 9:07 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» DV-2024 Program: Online Registration
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Oct 06, 2022 11:26 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

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3 posters

    Male/Female at ATM

    pathfinder
    pathfinder
    Top contributor
    Top contributor


    Posts : 1450
    Join date : 2014-02-23

    Male/Female at ATM Empty Male/Female at ATM

    Post by pathfinder Mon May 25, 2015 7:23 pm

    A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
    Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
    Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
    After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
    *******************************
    MALE PROCEDURE:
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.
    *******************************
    FEMALE PROCEDURE:
    (What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!)
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    8. Insert card.
    9. Re-insert card the right way.
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    11. Enter PIN.
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    13. Enter amount of cash required.
    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
    18. Re-check makeup.
    19. Drive forward 2 feet.
    20. Reverse back to cash machine.
    21. Retrieve card.
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    27. Release Parking Brake.
    avatar
    OzTRADER


    Posts : 55
    Join date : 2015-03-24

    Male/Female at ATM Empty Re: Male/Female at ATM

    Post by OzTRADER Tue May 26, 2015 6:53 am

    lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!
    avatar
    tissera


    Posts : 39
    Join date : 2015-02-23

    Male/Female at ATM Empty Re: Male/Female at ATM

    Post by tissera Tue May 26, 2015 3:17 pm

    If your wife see this, you have to eat Kottu tonight and sleep in the car with a bottle on your lap.

      Current date/time is Wed Jun 19, 2024 11:37 pm