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» Technology~විද්‍යාව ~ Wisdom
Male/Female at ATM EmptyToday at 6:54 am by ruwan326

» අනං මනං! #/+?.<>
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Nov 11, 2019 12:38 pm by nihal123

» Thread for News on CSE and SL Economy
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Nov 11, 2019 10:51 am by ruwan326

» ඇඟට නොදැනී ප්‍රතිඋත්තර දෙන හැටි
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Nov 10, 2019 7:37 pm by ruwan326

» What's 5G?
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Nov 09, 2019 3:14 pm by Afourer

» ACL කේබල්ස් ට රුපියල් මිලියන 789 ක ඒරියල් බන්ඩල් සන්නායක කොන්ත්‍රාත්තුවක්
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Nov 09, 2019 7:50 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» ලාෆ් ගෑස් සමාඟමට එරෙහිව විනිමය කොමිසමෙන් නඩු
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Nov 09, 2019 3:05 am by Rana

» CFVF - First Capital
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Nov 08, 2019 8:36 pm by hammurabi

» Dividend Announcement
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Nov 08, 2019 11:03 am by nihal123

» Hayleys MGT
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Nov 06, 2019 10:13 pm by seek

» Thought for the day...
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Nov 06, 2019 10:24 am by ruwan326

» මෑතකාලීන ආර්ථික ප්‍රවණතා: 2019 සුවිශේෂ සිදුවීම් සහ 2020 අපේක්ෂාවන්
Male/Female at ATM EmptyTue Nov 05, 2019 1:22 pm by nihal123

» DIPD.N0000 (Dipped Products)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Nov 03, 2019 9:13 pm by spw19721

» IMF approves disbursement of USD 164 million for Sri Lanka
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Nov 03, 2019 6:50 pm by Backstage

» Recent tax developments on residential condominium properties
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Nov 03, 2019 5:56 pm by Backstage

» Local Palm Oil Industry
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Nov 03, 2019 4:44 am by serene

» CTBL.N0000 ( CEYLON TEA BROKERS PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Nov 02, 2019 10:00 pm by hammurabi

» LPL.N0000
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Nov 01, 2019 8:35 pm by Admin

» LLUB.N0000 (CHEVRON LUBRICANTS LANKA PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Oct 27, 2019 9:08 pm by PANTOMATH

» දුක බෙදාගත් හැටි
Male/Female at ATM EmptySun Oct 27, 2019 6:48 pm by serene

» මේ විදියට තව අවුරුදු 5ක් ගියොත් දකුණු ආසියාවේ දුප්පත්ම රට බවට ශ්‍රී ලංකාව පත්වේවි – මහාචාර්ය එච්.ඩී. කරුණාරත්න
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Oct 25, 2019 9:31 pm by ruwan326

» KFP.N0000(Keels Food Products PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Oct 25, 2019 8:26 am by yellow knife

» CCS.N0000 ( Ceylon Cold Stores)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Oct 24, 2019 5:57 pm by dhanurrox

» RENUKA AGRI FOODS PLC ( RAL.N0000 )
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Oct 24, 2019 10:13 am by lanka

» Forex Trading කළොත් නඩු
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Oct 23, 2019 11:09 am by nihal123

» East West properties
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Oct 23, 2019 7:00 am by slstock

» Food and Beverages
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Oct 21, 2019 7:54 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Devolution of power, civil wars, altruism, nepotism in animal world
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Oct 18, 2019 10:15 pm by Backstage

» RCL - Royal Ceramics
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Oct 14, 2019 12:47 pm by seek

» Performance of the Market-Weekly
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Oct 12, 2019 4:29 am by ruwan326

» Confidence to boom after election – CBSL Governor
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Oct 11, 2019 4:09 pm by Backstage

» Sri Lanka among top 20 rising stars of world trade
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Oct 11, 2019 4:08 pm by Backstage

» CLND Not to miss
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Oct 10, 2019 9:24 am by ruwan326

» අපි නොදන්න ගීතයක කතාව
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Oct 04, 2019 11:55 am by nuwanmja

» මූඩීස් ප්‍රකාශය පිළිගන්න බැහැ – මහ බැංකුව කියයි
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Oct 02, 2019 6:46 am by nihal123

» ආර්ථික වර්ධනය 2.7% ට බසී
Male/Female at ATM EmptyTue Oct 01, 2019 1:29 pm by nihal123

» Ranil agrees to give Sajith candidacy - AdaDetana
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Sep 26, 2019 5:05 pm by mymoney

» Cracks in the Real Estate Sector
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Sep 26, 2019 2:44 pm by chutiputha

» Films - To Watch List
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Sep 20, 2019 8:38 am by Topcat

» ෆිනෑන්ස් බලපත්‍රය අවලංගුයි. අද සිට මුදල් ව්‍යාපාර බැහැ
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Sep 20, 2019 7:53 am by serene

» DOCK.N0000 (COLOMBO DOCKYARD PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Sep 19, 2019 4:33 pm by nuwanmja

» Easter Sunday Attack and Sri Lanka
Male/Female at ATM EmptyThu Sep 19, 2019 12:49 pm by Ethical Trader

» Trading Journal
Male/Female at ATM EmptyWed Sep 18, 2019 9:01 am by CK

» කැසිනෝ ව්‍යාපාරික රවී විජේරත්න, අර්බුදයට පත් MTD Walkers මිල දී ගැනීමට සැරසෙයි
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Sep 09, 2019 7:47 pm by nihal123

» Happy Birthday
Male/Female at ATM EmptyMon Sep 09, 2019 10:54 am by nuwanmja

»  Rajgama Heroes !
Male/Female at ATM EmptySat Sep 07, 2019 10:24 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Yahoo mail
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Sep 06, 2019 5:38 pm by Rana

» Thread for News on International Markets
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Sep 06, 2019 9:50 am by The Invisible

» JINS.N0000 ( Janashakthi Insurance PLC)
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Sep 06, 2019 9:47 am by The Invisible

» Browns Investments update
Male/Female at ATM EmptyFri Sep 06, 2019 6:00 am by sanjulanka

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Male/Female at ATM

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Male/Female at ATM Empty Male/Female at ATM

Post by pathfinder on Mon May 25, 2015 7:23 pm

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
pathfinder
pathfinder
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Top contributor

Posts : 1409
Join date : 2014-02-23
Age : 38

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Male/Female at ATM Empty Re: Male/Female at ATM

Post by OzTRADER on Tue May 26, 2015 6:53 am

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

OzTRADER

Posts : 55
Join date : 2015-03-24

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Male/Female at ATM Empty Re: Male/Female at ATM

Post by tissera on Tue May 26, 2015 3:17 pm

If your wife see this, you have to eat Kottu tonight and sleep in the car with a bottle on your lap.

tissera

Posts : 34
Join date : 2015-02-23

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