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Case1 | |
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." | |
| Customer: "Ok." | |
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" | |
| Customer: "No." | |
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" | |
| Customer: "No." | |
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" | |
| Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'." | |
Case 2 | |
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." | |
| Tech Support: "Did you install the update?" | |
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?" | |
Case 3 | |
Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word." | |
| Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done." | |
Customer: "I typed 'A: SETUP'." | |
| Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says." | |
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'." | |
| Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk." | |
Customer: "What?" | |
| Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?" | |
Customer: "No..." | |
Case 4 | |
Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?" | |
| Tech Support: ?!%#$(welll pretend to smile) | |
Case 5 | |
Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?" | |
| Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" | |
Tech support: ##### *** | |
Case 6 | |
Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?" | |
| Customer: "A white one." | |
| Tech support: ******_____#### | |
Case 7 | |
Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?" | |
| Customer: "Pentium." | |
Tech support: ////-----+++ | |
Case 8 | |
Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion." | |
| Tech support: ?????? | |
Case 9 | |
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder." | |
| Tech Support: ?!%#$ | |
Case 10 | |
Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?" | |
| Tech support: ?????? | |
Case 11 | |
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly." | |
| Tech Support: "What does it say?" | |
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." | |
| Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" | |
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside." | |
Tech support: @@@@@ | |
Case 12 | |
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours." | |
| Customer: "Is that Eastern time?" | |
Case 13 | |
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?" | |
| Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." | |
Tech Support: "Well?" | |
| Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?" | |
Tech support: *** ---- ++++ | |
| The Best of the Lot | |
Case 14 | |
A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty. | |
Tech: What's the problem? | |
| User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply. | |
Tech:(keeps quite for moment) | |
Tech: You'll need a new power supply. | |
| User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files. | |
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it. | |
| User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command. | |
Tech support: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up. | |
| Tech support:(hush hush) | |
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem. | |
| User: I knew it! | |
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes. | |
10 minutes later. | |
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking. | |
| Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using? | |
User: MS-DOS 6.22. | |
| Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes. | |
1 hour later. | |
User: I need a new power supply. | |
| Tech support: How did you come to that conclusion? | |
Tech support: (hush hush) | |
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply. | |
| Tech: Then what did he say? | |
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE. | |
| Height of All (Too Good) | |
Case 15 | |
Customer care officer: I need a product identification number right now and may I help you in finding it out? | |
| Customer: Sure | |
Customer Care Officer: Can you left click on start and do you find 'My Computer'? | |
| Customer: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer? | |
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4 posters
Why Call Centre Guys are paid so much?
Sriranga- Veteran
- Posts : 3226
Join date : 2014-02-23
Location : Colombo
People wonder why the the call centre guys are paid so much for just being on the phone. Take a look at some of the conversations between Technical Support executives and customers on phone.
Source: via email
_________________
"Investing is easy to learn, but it takes a lifetime to master."
First Guy- Posts : 2599
Join date : 2014-02-22
Case 14: BEST! 
serene- Top contributor
- Posts : 4850
Join date : 2014-02-26
Expert- Posts : 136
Join date : 2014-03-03
ROFL!
my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE
my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE
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