'Tis a Atteypara - Can he or cannot he see

The following was posted by JILMart on a dating forum seeking a rich husband:

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. (but not honest all the time men).  I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. (going to Ramani salon and eating kothu rothi at pilawoos). i invented the ARIMA Theory. I wish to marry a guy with Rs 12 million annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of Rs 12 Million is considered only as middle class in Colombo 7.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of Rs. 12 Million annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I’ve dated, the richest fellow was Handsome Mr. S. Hark but his annual income in aboo-dhobi is even my local dhobi is making more. I am trying to catch that Mr. P. Rat  Eyeo that fellow making lot of money in stock market but he giving me the boot.
If someone is going to move into colombo 7, need good income. even my Arima model cannot be predicting such stock market return.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? like Golf Course in Kanatte, Colombo Drowning Your Sorrows Club, Dutch Hospital, or Independence Square without freedom and fir trees ?  

2) Which age group should I target? me thinking deegoda gamage, asoka samarkoon too old no ? how about that fellow Kitty Sir ? he 58 but fighting fit drinking jada like.

3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys. like our Sstar who married that Sarabulathwathie fellow.

4) How do you decide who can be your husband, and who can only be your boyfreind ? (my target now is to get married). pls give me Balanced View.  

Ms. Pretty



A philosophical reply from CEO of Kaput Bank below:



Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than Rs 12 Million, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person (not Rishan), it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” : Person A provides beauty (like CBK), and Person B (like MS) pays for it, fair and square.

However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. (unless i follow that BAT & CRAB Pattern theory).
The fact is, my income might increase from year to year (like MR), but you can’t be prettier year after year (like RW).

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later. it is like PC House going from rs 30 to 10 cts.

By the terms we use in Echelon Square, every trading has a position, like kama sutra, dating with you is also a “trading position” (we must make sure about getting screwed). hopefully we will. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”. (but now leasing becoming difficult after shutting down Juliana and 4th floor of CLND which sapumal likes).

Anyone with over Rs 12 Million annual income is not a fool (some like touchwood investors are), we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person by using your Arima theory to do stock trading. why not buying PC house ? This has better chance than finding a rich fool. (sometimes you can find a rich person who is a bear like cse.see). they become rich by being bearish which is foolish.  

Final advise is try our Admin (your counterparty). he is shortsighted. sometimes he can see and sometimes he cannot :-) he may fall for your beauty.  
or you can even try our latest jumper 'Tis a Atteypara. he may be in a good position smakaru's vice and he may teach you some new postions too. (he getting tired of attey-para)

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
Mr. Kota Uda
CEO Kaput Bank.

Ha ha..
Good One P

Very nice pee ratio as usual....

තිස්ස එක්ක ඉන්න බැ කියලා හිරුනිකා ඇවිත්

Good one PEE