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An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyYesterday at 8:01 am by The Invisible

» Thread for News on CSE and SL Economy
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyYesterday at 7:51 am by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka’s Colombo tea auction goes online amid Coronavirus curfew
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Apr 06, 2020 4:34 pm by The Invisible

» Thread for News on International Markets
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Apr 06, 2020 4:26 pm by The Invisible

» ඩොලරයේ විකුණුම් මිල රු. 199 ඉක්මවයි
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Apr 06, 2020 3:03 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» මරණය-පෙනි-පෙනී-ඇමරිකාවට-ගිය-ගමන
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Apr 05, 2020 8:00 pm by nihal123

» Happy Birthday
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» Nikon Offering Free online Photography Classes
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Apr 04, 2020 10:23 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Oil, Gold & Silver Prices
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Apr 04, 2020 9:39 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» A Simple but Powerful Yogic Process to Boost Immunity and Enhance Lung Capacity
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Apr 03, 2020 8:15 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Sri Lanka finance companies pressured by Coronavirus: Fitch
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» Sri Lanka appeals for forex inflows to combat COVID-19, lifts inward restrictions
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» Sri Lanka to control imports except oil and medicines, grow vegetables: Minister
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» ඇඳුම නං නරක නෑ
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» Kagame gives food, free electricity to every household during lockdown
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Mar 31, 2020 10:07 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» MARKET HOLIDAY ON 30TH MARCH 2020
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Mar 29, 2020 10:09 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Power of Social Media
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» මනුස්සකම
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» 450 Ivy League courses you can take online right now for free
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Mar 28, 2020 2:32 am by pjrngroup

» අය කළ ණය වාරික නැවත ලබා දෙනවා – මහජන බැංකු සභාපති කියයි
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Mar 27, 2020 12:02 pm by nihal123

» මේ දුප්පත් රටට ඔබේ ජීවිතය බේරලා දෙන්න උදව් කරන්න.
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 26, 2020 4:26 pm by malanp

» Coronavirus COVID-19 Live update
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 25, 2020 7:59 pm by nihal123

» Anytime Data
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» Films - To Watch List
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 25, 2020 12:05 pm by yellow knife

» US Embassy urges Americans in Sri Lanka to leave
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 25, 2020 8:16 am by The Invisible

» Why we need to practise social distancing
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Mar 24, 2020 8:44 pm by chutiputha

» මුළු දිවයිනටම ඇඳීරි නිතිය
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» නමක් ගමක් දන්නෙ නෑ රත්තරන් මනුස්සයෙක්
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Mar 24, 2020 6:01 pm by nihal123

» Amazon today cancelled the subscription of books and audio stories
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Mar 24, 2020 5:33 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» ජනපතිගෙන් ජනතාවට සහන
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Mar 23, 2020 8:59 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Sri Lanka asks telecos to give emergency credit to keep in touch in Coronavirus fight
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Mar 23, 2020 7:35 am by The Invisible

» කොටස් වෙළෙඳපොළ හෙට පැය 03කට විවෘත කෙරේ. හැකි නම් නිවසේ සිට වැඩ කරන්න
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Mar 23, 2020 7:18 am by The Invisible

» SAMP.N0000 (Sampath Bank PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Mar 22, 2020 7:52 am by The Invisible

» INDUSTRIAL ASPHALTS (CEYLON) PLC (ASPH.N0000)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Mar 21, 2020 2:27 pm by serene

» Obituary Notice.
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Mar 21, 2020 1:13 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Sri Lanka makes mini-budget till May 2020 under Presidential powers
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Mar 21, 2020 9:49 am by The Invisible

» හෝමාගම රෝහලත් කොරෝනා රෝගීන් සඳහා වෙන් කරයි
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Mar 21, 2020 9:43 am by nihal123

» People first, economy next, says top economist
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Mar 20, 2020 9:59 am by Backstage

» කොටස් වෙළෙඳපොළ ගනුදෙනු හෙට යළි ඇරඹෙයි
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Mar 20, 2020 8:34 am by malanp

» ඉන්දීය අගමැති මුළු රටටම ඇඳිරි නීතිය පනවයි
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Mar 20, 2020 8:05 am by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka to fix fuel prices, build energy stability fund amid COVID-19 crude collapse
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 19, 2020 2:36 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» නිවසේ සිට වැඩ කරන සතියක් : රජය සහ පුද්ගලික අංශය දෙකටම
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 19, 2020 2:31 pm by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka elections delayed over Coronavirus
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 19, 2020 2:27 pm by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka’s market closed over Coronavirus on March 19
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 19, 2020 9:31 am by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka stock market closed Tuesday in Coronavirus holiday
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 19, 2020 9:23 am by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka President orders 6-month debt moratorium, 4-pct working capital
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 18, 2020 3:17 pm by slstock

» පුත්තලම, හලාවත ඇතුළු ප්‍රදේශ කිහිපයකට පොලිස් ඇඳිරි නිතිය
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 18, 2020 2:45 pm by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka RPCs to pay Rs.1,000 daily wage on higher productivity, trade unions yet to agree
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Mar 17, 2020 3:03 pm by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka Central Bank Governor asks markets to remain calm
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Mar 17, 2020 2:59 pm by The Invisible

» Dividend Announcements
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Mar 17, 2020 12:59 pm by yellow knife

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An ex-businessman, now bankrupt,

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An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, Empty An ex-businessman, now bankrupt,

Post by Backstage on Sun Feb 16, 2020 9:24 pm


An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, is preparing to jump off a bridge...
As he's about to step into the void, a hand grabs him from behind.

He turns back annoyed and sees that the hand belongs to an old bearded overweight guy.

"Why did you stop me you old fool?"

"Have you gone mad my son? You were about to kill yourself!" The old man exclaims with a booming voice.

"I have nothing to live for anymore! Just let me end it!"

"Listen my son. I'm Santa Claus and I'm just here on vacation. But if you'd like, tell me what the problem is and maybe we can fix it." Said the old man with genuine concern.

"OK Santa, I'll tell you" the businessman shrugged "I used to be a really successful businessman. I had it all, amazing cars, beautiful women, loads of money. But now I lost it all thanks to the stock market crash. So I have nothing to live for."

"That's what got you in such melancholy? My boy, my boy! Tomorrow morning at 10, come here on this bridge and there will be a brand new Lamborghini waiting just for you!"

The businessman is surprised, then ecstatic. He grabs Santa and kisses him on both cheeks and then starts crying with joy. They sit down and talk for a while. But when they start discussing women, the businessman is depressed again.

"Oh Santa, I used to be such a playboy. Every single night I would bring home at least 2 different stunning and beautiful girls. Now, and at my age, I'll be lucky to find a mediocre girlfriend."

"That's what got you worried? Don't pout my son. In the Lamborghini tomorrow there will be 4 beautiful women waiting for you. They are all yours!"

The man starts hugging Santa again and says

"I'm sorry Santa, maybe it's too much, but since you are doing all this for me, could you give me back at least part of my wealth? I wasn't a greedy asshole like the rest of them. I used to spend it left and right and give to charities. I just enjoyed making people happy, and I'd like that back again."

"Sure my boy. One of the women tomorrow will have a suitcase with 1 billion dollars in it. It's all yours!"

"Oh thank you Santa, thank you so much. How could I ever repay you?"

"Well, there's one thing... I kinda miss my wife who had to stay at the North Pole, and especially... well this is embarassing... her blowjobs that she gave me every night. Would you give me a blowjob?"

The businessman is dumbfounded at first, but quickly steels himself

"Santa, you didn't just save my life, you gave it back to me as well. What you ask is the least I can do and I will gladly do it!"

"Brilliant my boy. My hotel isn't far from here. Follow me."

Santa leads the businessman to a hotel a couple blocks away. They go into Santa's bedroom and the businessman drops to his knees, unbuckles Santa's pants and goes to work. After they finish up, the business man goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Santa leans at the door and asks:

"My boy, you never told me your name"

"I'm Alex, Santa"

"Nice to meet you Alex. Tell me, how old are you?"

"I'm nearly 50, Santa"

"And in these 50 years of life, did it never occur to you Alex, that Santa Claus might not be real?"
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