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» Coronavirus Updates
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyToday at 8:07 am by The Invisible

» In the Meantime, Within Our Shores !
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Jul 07, 2020 9:42 pm by Rajapaksap

» Dividend Announcements
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Jul 06, 2020 9:06 pm by yellow knife

»  Rajgama Heroes !
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Jul 05, 2020 10:05 pm by serene

» Thread for News on CSE and SL Economy
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Jul 03, 2020 7:17 am by The Invisible

» Access Engineering AEL Technical Analysis
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Jul 03, 2020 7:14 am by The Invisible

» Obituary Notice.
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jul 01, 2020 12:51 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

»  6000 Post Club , Celebration of a Great Milestone, Slstock
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Jun 30, 2020 9:35 am by slstock

» LIOC.N0000 (Lanka IOC PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Jun 30, 2020 8:00 am by LSE

» How to get Access to: 104 Technical trading experiments by HUNTER
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Jun 29, 2020 9:35 am by nuwanmja

» Sri Lanka to monetize tens of billions of contractor bills
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Jun 28, 2020 10:30 am by The Invisible

» 104 Technical trading experiments by HUNTER
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Jun 27, 2020 10:27 pm by HUNTER

» CFVF - First Capital
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Jun 27, 2020 10:22 pm by HUNTER

» RCL - Royal Ceramics
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Jun 27, 2020 4:02 am by desh87

» Stocks - Banks Drag Wall Street Lower After Fed Buyback Ban; Dow Down 290
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Jun 26, 2020 11:35 pm by nihal123

» Sri Lanka plans US$4bn PPP for LRT in place of Japan funded soft-loan project
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Jun 25, 2020 8:57 pm by The Invisible

» PABC.N0000 (Pan Asia Banking Corporation PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jun 24, 2020 10:37 pm by seek

» JKH.N0000
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jun 24, 2020 9:33 pm by The Invisible

» Plantation sector updates
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jun 24, 2020 10:32 am by The Invisible

» LOLC Holdings
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Jun 22, 2020 3:40 pm by Rajapaksap

» Sri Lanka bank bad loans in March 2020 pick up to 5.1-pct
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Jun 22, 2020 12:50 pm by The Invisible

» The Central Bank of Sri Lanka Further Reduces the Statutory Reserve Ratio
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Jun 22, 2020 11:53 am by nihal123

» Sri Lanka tea prices pickup marginally mid June
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Jun 21, 2020 8:11 pm by The Invisible

» කොළඹ කොටස් වෙළඳපොළ ඩිජිටල්කරණය කිරීමේ වැඩපිළිවෙල ඇරඹෙයි
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Jun 21, 2020 12:55 pm by HUNTER

» Sri Lankans stock up, buy online in Covid-19 curfews, informal workers hard-hit: survey
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Jun 21, 2020 9:34 am by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka chicken supplies to tighten after Covid-19 crisis, maize import controls
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Jun 21, 2020 9:32 am by The Invisible

» S&P SL20 සමාගම් ලැයිස්තුවේ වෙනසක්.
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Jun 20, 2020 7:56 am by slstock

» HNB රුපියල් බිලියන 5ක ණය යෝජනා ක‍්‍රමයක් දියත් කරයි
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Jun 19, 2020 10:47 pm by nihal123

» SAMP.N0000 (Sampath Bank PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Jun 19, 2020 1:08 pm by dakzsl

» HAYC - Haycarb
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Jun 19, 2020 12:04 pm by Rational Investor

» විශාලම ලැයිස්තුගත සමාගම් 50 විනිවිදභාවය පිළිබඳ වාර්තාවක් එළිදැක්වෙයි
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Jun 18, 2020 11:13 pm by nihal123

» HAYL.N0000 Hayleys PLC
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Jun 18, 2020 7:53 pm by NIRMALSG

» GLAS.N0000 (Piramal Glass Ceylon PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jun 17, 2020 12:29 pm by nuwanmja

» Sri Lanka bank forex funding pressures, bad loans to rise after Covid-19: Fitch
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jun 17, 2020 10:43 am by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka telecom regulator asked find businesses to use Lotus Tower
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jun 17, 2020 10:33 am by The Invisible

» Gota's Era
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Jun 16, 2020 2:40 pm by puliyanam

» Fitch Revises Ratings on 11 Sri Lankan Financial
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Jun 13, 2020 11:58 am by spw19721

» Carlton Sports Network to resume broadcasts soon – Rohan Welivita
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Jun 12, 2020 11:27 am by Rajapaksap

» සල්ලි අච්චු ගැසුවාද?
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jun 10, 2020 11:35 pm by nihal123

» වටිනා පාඩමක්!
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jun 10, 2020 9:58 pm by Backstage

» Sri Lanka’s General Election on August 05
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jun 10, 2020 3:08 pm by The Invisible

» Hayleys MGT
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Jun 09, 2020 11:16 am by The Invisible

» AEL Access Engineering
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Jun 09, 2020 11:08 am by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka import controls, cargo bottleneck hit apparel exporters
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Jun 08, 2020 4:12 pm by The Invisible

» Sri Lanka tea prices ease lower, low growns drive May average to all time high
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Jun 08, 2020 8:47 am by slstock

» Sri Lanka plans to allow tourists from August, no mandatory quarantine
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Jun 06, 2020 3:05 pm by Antonym

» Sri Lanka makes trillion rupee mini-budget till August under Presidential powers
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Jun 05, 2020 10:48 am by The Invisible

» HHL.N0000 ( Hemas Holdings PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Jun 04, 2020 4:32 pm by Backstage

» LION.N0000 (Lion Brewery Ceylon PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Jun 04, 2020 2:21 pm by The Invisible

» කොටස්--වෙළෙඳපොළ--වැසුවාද
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Jun 03, 2020 9:49 pm by nihal123

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An ex-businessman, now bankrupt,

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An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, Empty An ex-businessman, now bankrupt,

Post by Backstage on Sun Feb 16, 2020 9:24 pm


An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, is preparing to jump off a bridge...
As he's about to step into the void, a hand grabs him from behind.

He turns back annoyed and sees that the hand belongs to an old bearded overweight guy.

"Why did you stop me you old fool?"

"Have you gone mad my son? You were about to kill yourself!" The old man exclaims with a booming voice.

"I have nothing to live for anymore! Just let me end it!"

"Listen my son. I'm Santa Claus and I'm just here on vacation. But if you'd like, tell me what the problem is and maybe we can fix it." Said the old man with genuine concern.

"OK Santa, I'll tell you" the businessman shrugged "I used to be a really successful businessman. I had it all, amazing cars, beautiful women, loads of money. But now I lost it all thanks to the stock market crash. So I have nothing to live for."

"That's what got you in such melancholy? My boy, my boy! Tomorrow morning at 10, come here on this bridge and there will be a brand new Lamborghini waiting just for you!"

The businessman is surprised, then ecstatic. He grabs Santa and kisses him on both cheeks and then starts crying with joy. They sit down and talk for a while. But when they start discussing women, the businessman is depressed again.

"Oh Santa, I used to be such a playboy. Every single night I would bring home at least 2 different stunning and beautiful girls. Now, and at my age, I'll be lucky to find a mediocre girlfriend."

"That's what got you worried? Don't pout my son. In the Lamborghini tomorrow there will be 4 beautiful women waiting for you. They are all yours!"

The man starts hugging Santa again and says

"I'm sorry Santa, maybe it's too much, but since you are doing all this for me, could you give me back at least part of my wealth? I wasn't a greedy asshole like the rest of them. I used to spend it left and right and give to charities. I just enjoyed making people happy, and I'd like that back again."

"Sure my boy. One of the women tomorrow will have a suitcase with 1 billion dollars in it. It's all yours!"

"Oh thank you Santa, thank you so much. How could I ever repay you?"

"Well, there's one thing... I kinda miss my wife who had to stay at the North Pole, and especially... well this is embarassing... her blowjobs that she gave me every night. Would you give me a blowjob?"

The businessman is dumbfounded at first, but quickly steels himself

"Santa, you didn't just save my life, you gave it back to me as well. What you ask is the least I can do and I will gladly do it!"

"Brilliant my boy. My hotel isn't far from here. Follow me."

Santa leads the businessman to a hotel a couple blocks away. They go into Santa's bedroom and the businessman drops to his knees, unbuckles Santa's pants and goes to work. After they finish up, the business man goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Santa leans at the door and asks:

"My boy, you never told me your name"

"I'm Alex, Santa"

"Nice to meet you Alex. Tell me, how old are you?"

"I'm nearly 50, Santa"

"And in these 50 years of life, did it never occur to you Alex, that Santa Claus might not be real?"
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