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The Investor Sentiment - Equity and investments forum for Sri Lankans

The Lankan Investor Forum - A more respectable and reasonable place for members to discuss matters regarding the CSEThe Lankan Investor Forum - A more respectable and reasonable place for members to discuss matters regarding the CSE

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Latest topics

» CCS.N0000 ( Ceylon Cold Stores)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 20, 2024 11:31 am by Hawk Eye

» Sri Lanka plans to allow tourists from August, no mandatory quarantine
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Sep 13, 2023 12:16 pm by lauryfriese

» When Will It Be Safe To Invest In The Stock Market Again?
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Apr 19, 2023 6:41 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Dividend Announcements
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Apr 12, 2023 5:41 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» MAINTENANCE NOTICE / නඩත්තු දැනුම්දීම
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Apr 06, 2023 3:18 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» ඩොලර් මිලියනයක මුදල් සම්මානයක් සහ “ෆීල්ඩ්ස් පදක්කම” පිළිගැනීම ප්‍රතික්ෂේප කළ ගණිතඥයා
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Apr 02, 2023 7:28 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» SEYB.N0000 (Seylan Bank PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 30, 2023 9:25 am by yellow knife

» Here's what blind prophet Baba Vanga predicted for 2016 and beyond: It's not good
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 30, 2023 9:25 am by HaeroMaero

» The Korean Way !
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 29, 2023 7:09 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» In the Meantime Within Our Shores!
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Mar 27, 2023 5:51 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» What is Known as Dementia?
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Mar 24, 2023 10:09 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» SRI LANKA TELECOM PLC (SLTL.N0000)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Mar 20, 2023 5:18 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» THE LANKA HOSPITALS CORPORATION PLC (LHCL.N0000)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Mar 20, 2023 5:10 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Equinox ( වසන්ත විෂුවය ) !
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Mar 20, 2023 4:28 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» COMB.N0000 (Commercial Bank of Ceylon PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Mar 19, 2023 4:11 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» REXP.N0000 (Richard Pieris Exports PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Mar 19, 2023 4:02 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» RICH.N0000 (Richard Pieris and Company PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Mar 19, 2023 3:53 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Do You Have Computer Vision Syndrome?
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Mar 18, 2023 7:36 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» LAXAPANA BATTERIES PLC (LITE.N0000)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 16, 2023 11:23 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» What a Bank Run ?
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 15, 2023 5:33 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» 104 Technical trading experiments by HUNTER
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 15, 2023 4:27 pm by katesmith1304

» GLAS.N0000 (Piramal Glass Ceylon PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 15, 2023 7:45 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Cboe Volatility Index
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Mar 14, 2023 5:32 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» AHPL.N0000
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Mar 12, 2023 4:46 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» TJL.N0000 (Tee Jey Lanka PLC.)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Mar 12, 2023 4:43 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» CTBL.N0000 ( CEYLON TEA BROKERS PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Mar 12, 2023 4:41 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» COMMERCIAL DEVELOPMENT COMPANY PLC (COMD. N.0000))
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Mar 10, 2023 4:43 pm by yellow knife

» Bitcoin and Cryptocurrency
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Mar 10, 2023 1:47 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» CSD.N0000 (Seylan Developments PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Mar 10, 2023 10:38 am by yellow knife

» PLC.N0000 (People's Leasing and Finance PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 09, 2023 8:02 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Bakery Products ?
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Mar 08, 2023 5:30 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» NTB.N0000 (Nations Trust Bank PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Mar 05, 2023 7:24 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Going South
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Mar 04, 2023 10:47 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» When Seagulls Follow the Trawler
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Mar 02, 2023 10:22 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Re-activating
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Feb 25, 2023 5:12 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» අපි තමයි හොඳටම කරේ !
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Feb 14, 2023 3:54 pm by ruwan326

» මේ අර් බුධය කිසිසේත්ම මා විසින් නිර්මාණය කල එකක් නොවේ
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Jan 03, 2023 6:43 pm by ruwan326

» SAMP.N0000 (Sampath Bank PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Nov 30, 2022 8:24 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» APLA.N0000 (ACL Plastics PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Nov 18, 2022 7:49 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» AVOID FALLING INTO ALLURING WEEKEND FAMILY PACKAGES.
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyWed Nov 16, 2022 9:28 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Banks, Finance & Insurance Sector Chart
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Nov 15, 2022 5:26 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» VPEL.N0000 (Vallibel Power Erathna PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySun Nov 13, 2022 12:15 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» DEADLY COCKTAIL OF ISLAND MENTALITY AND PARANOID PERSONALITY DISORDER MIX.
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyMon Nov 07, 2022 6:36 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» WATA - Watawala
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Nov 05, 2022 8:44 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» KFP.N0000(Keels Food Products PLC)
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptySat Nov 05, 2022 8:42 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Capital Trust Broker in difficulty?
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyFri Oct 21, 2022 5:25 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» IS PIRATING INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY A BOON OR BANE?
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Oct 20, 2022 10:13 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» What Industry Would You Choose to Focus?
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Oct 11, 2022 6:39 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» Should I Stick Around, or Should I Follow Others' Lead?
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyTue Oct 11, 2022 9:07 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» DV-2024 Program: Online Registration
An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, EmptyThu Oct 06, 2022 11:26 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

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    An ex-businessman, now bankrupt,

    Backstage
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    Posts : 3803
    Join date : 2014-02-24

    An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, Empty An ex-businessman, now bankrupt,

    Post by Backstage Sun Feb 16, 2020 9:24 pm


    An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, is preparing to jump off a bridge...
    As he's about to step into the void, a hand grabs him from behind.

    He turns back annoyed and sees that the hand belongs to an old bearded overweight guy.

    "Why did you stop me you old fool?"

    "Have you gone mad my son? You were about to kill yourself!" The old man exclaims with a booming voice.

    "I have nothing to live for anymore! Just let me end it!"

    "Listen my son. I'm Santa Claus and I'm just here on vacation. But if you'd like, tell me what the problem is and maybe we can fix it." Said the old man with genuine concern.

    "OK Santa, I'll tell you" the businessman shrugged "I used to be a really successful businessman. I had it all, amazing cars, beautiful women, loads of money. But now I lost it all thanks to the stock market crash. So I have nothing to live for."

    "That's what got you in such melancholy? My boy, my boy! Tomorrow morning at 10, come here on this bridge and there will be a brand new Lamborghini waiting just for you!"

    The businessman is surprised, then ecstatic. He grabs Santa and kisses him on both cheeks and then starts crying with joy. They sit down and talk for a while. But when they start discussing women, the businessman is depressed again.

    "Oh Santa, I used to be such a playboy. Every single night I would bring home at least 2 different stunning and beautiful girls. Now, and at my age, I'll be lucky to find a mediocre girlfriend."

    "That's what got you worried? Don't pout my son. In the Lamborghini tomorrow there will be 4 beautiful women waiting for you. They are all yours!"

    The man starts hugging Santa again and says

    "I'm sorry Santa, maybe it's too much, but since you are doing all this for me, could you give me back at least part of my wealth? I wasn't a greedy asshole like the rest of them. I used to spend it left and right and give to charities. I just enjoyed making people happy, and I'd like that back again."

    "Sure my boy. One of the women tomorrow will have a suitcase with 1 billion dollars in it. It's all yours!"

    "Oh thank you Santa, thank you so much. How could I ever repay you?"

    "Well, there's one thing... I kinda miss my wife who had to stay at the North Pole, and especially... well this is embarassing... her blowjobs that she gave me every night. Would you give me a blowjob?"

    The businessman is dumbfounded at first, but quickly steels himself

    "Santa, you didn't just save my life, you gave it back to me as well. What you ask is the least I can do and I will gladly do it!"

    "Brilliant my boy. My hotel isn't far from here. Follow me."

    Santa leads the businessman to a hotel a couple blocks away. They go into Santa's bedroom and the businessman drops to his knees, unbuckles Santa's pants and goes to work. After they finish up, the business man goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Santa leans at the door and asks:

    "My boy, you never told me your name"

    "I'm Alex, Santa"

    "Nice to meet you Alex. Tell me, how old are you?"

    "I'm nearly 50, Santa"

    "And in these 50 years of life, did it never occur to you Alex, that Santa Claus might not be real?"

      Current date/time is Fri Jul 19, 2024 3:04 am