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» How to Calculate the Future Value of an Investment
Yesterday at 10:18 pm by nihal123

» කොටස් වෙළෙඳපොළේ ලැයිස්තුගත කෙරෙන අලුත්ම සමාගම – LVL Energy Fund Limited
Yesterday at 7:42 pm by nihal123

» Dividend Announcement
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» අගමැති රනිල් බැඳුම්කර කොමිසම හමුවේ පැවසුවේ මොනවාද?
Yesterday at 7:08 pm by Ethical Trader

» Obituary Notice.
Yesterday at 3:03 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» උතුරු කොරියාවේ "සබ්මැරීන බැලිස්ටික් මිසයිල වැඩසටහනකුත්"
Yesterday at 11:34 am by Ethical Trader

» උතුරු කොරියාව සහ න්‍යෂ්ඨික ප්‍රහාර: "නීති විරෝධී නියෝග පිළිපදින්නේ නෑ"
Yesterday at 11:28 am by Ethical Trader

» 'සොල්දාදුවාගේ සිරුරේ අඟල් එකොළහක පණුවෙක්'
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» මිනිස්සු දුවනවා, අපි නැවතිලා බලන් ඉන්නවා.
Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:46 pm by Ethical Trader

» Plantation sector updates
Fri Nov 17, 2017 11:54 am by lanka

» සිම්බාබ්වේ: ජනාධිපති රොබට් මුගාබේ "අත්අඩංගුවේ"
Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:54 am by Ethical Trader

» ආයෝජනයට ශ්‍රීලංකාවට එන්න එපා.! ජාත්‍යන්තර සමාගම් නිවේදනයකට සැරසෙයි
Wed Nov 15, 2017 8:15 pm by Admin

» Soldiers 'take over Zimbabwe broadcaster'
Wed Nov 15, 2017 5:52 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» බටහිර ලෝකය භේද කරන බවට රුසියාවට චෝදනා
Tue Nov 14, 2017 5:26 pm by Ethical Trader

» යුද අපරාධ සහ අතුරුදහන් කිරීම්: ශ්‍රී ලංකාවේ මානව හිමිකම් වාර්තාව ජිනීවා විමසුමට
Tue Nov 14, 2017 10:56 am by Ethical Trader

» ඉරාන, ඉරාක භූමිකම්පාවෙන් 200 කට වැඩි පිරිසක් මරුට
Mon Nov 13, 2017 5:27 pm by Ethical Trader

» මැද පෙරදිග බල තරඟය දරුණු අතට හැරෙයි
Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:16 pm by guruji

» වචන නම් අපේ ඒත් තනුව ?????????
Sun Nov 12, 2017 2:28 am by Rana

» දිල්ලියේ පරිසරය රැකීමට වාහන සලාක ක්‍රමයක්
Fri Nov 10, 2017 7:05 pm by Ethical Trader

» අයවැය සහ මෝටර් රථ: නව පිළිවෙතක්
Thu Nov 09, 2017 5:42 pm by Ethical Trader

» Flying is the Safest mode of Transport
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» In the Meantime, Within Our Shores !
Thu Nov 09, 2017 10:13 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» වංචා දුෂණ නඩු කඩිනම් කරන්න විශේෂ මහාධිකරණයක්
Wed Nov 08, 2017 4:54 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» LIOC.N0000 (Lanka IOC PLC)
Wed Nov 08, 2017 4:48 pm by Ethical Trader

» ගින්නෙන් දැවෙන අලි පැටවාගේ සේයාරුව පළමු තැනට
Wed Nov 08, 2017 4:35 pm by Ethical Trader

» 10 Things to Remember Before You Take Things Personally
Tue Nov 07, 2017 5:38 pm by Ethical Trader

» හැම තැනම නැහැ, හැම දාම නැහැ
Tue Nov 07, 2017 5:30 pm by Ethical Trader

» Beware !
Mon Nov 06, 2017 10:56 am by CK

» සාම සාධක මෙහෙයුම් නිරීක්ෂණය කරන පළමු ශ්‍රී ලාංකික හමුදා නිලධාරිනියෝ
Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:44 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» How to Find Undervalued Stocks and Turn a Large Profit
Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:24 am by Ethical Trader

» ඒකාබද්ධ විපක්ෂ කණ්ඩායමෙන් ශ්‍රීලනිපට කොන්දේසි හතක්
Thu Nov 02, 2017 6:29 pm by nihal123

» Taste of Asia
Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:27 pm by Ethical Trader

» නිව් යෝර්ක් ප්‍රහාරය : අවම වශයෙන් 8 දෙනෙක් මරුට
Wed Nov 01, 2017 5:48 pm by Ethical Trader

» NTB.N0000 (NATIONS TRUST BANK PLC)
Wed Nov 01, 2017 5:43 pm by Ethical Trader

» Laughter the Best Medicine
Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:48 am by Ethical Trader

» VPEL.N0000 (VALLIBEL POWER ERATHNA PLC )
Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:15 am by yellow knife

» TJL.N0000 (Textured Jersey Lanka PLC.)
Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:07 am by yellow knife

» TPL.N0000 (TALAWAKALE PLANTATIONS )
Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:56 am by yellow knife

» BFL.N0000 (Bairaha Farms PLC)
Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:16 pm by CK

» LLUB & BFL
Tue Oct 31, 2017 11:41 am by yellow knife

» HUNA.N0000
Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:26 am by yellow knife

» Sri Lanka's got Talent
Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:31 pm by sashimaal

» Govt.electrocutes CEB
Mon Oct 30, 2017 9:53 pm by AjithR

» තනි පුද්ගල ණය ලක්ෂ 5 ට ආසන්නයි
Mon Oct 30, 2017 7:46 pm by nihal123

» ලෝක ඉතිහාසයේ විශාලතම කොටස් මිල කඩා වැටීම චීනයෙන් වාර්තා වෙයි
Mon Oct 30, 2017 7:45 pm by nihal123

» COMB.N0000 ( COMMERCIAL BANK OF CEYLON PLC )
Mon Oct 30, 2017 4:53 pm by Rana

» ධම්මික පෙරමුණට එයි
Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:09 pm by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

» කොටස් මිල ඉහළ යාමෙන් ඇමේසන් ලොක්කා ලොව අංක එකේ සල්ලිකාරයා වුණේ මෙහෙමයි
Sun Oct 29, 2017 7:22 pm by nihal123

» schizophrenia / භින්නෝන්මාදය
Sat Oct 28, 2017 7:52 pm by sashimaal

» බුදු දහම වැළඳ ගන්නා බවට මායාවතීගෙන් අභියෝගයක්.
Sat Oct 28, 2017 11:58 am by කිත්සිරි ද සිල්වා

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Male/Female at ATM

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Male/Female at ATM

Post by pathfinder on Mon May 25, 2015 7:23 pm

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
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pathfinder
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Posts : 1329
Join date : 2014-02-23
Age : 36

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Re: Male/Female at ATM

Post by OzTRADER on Tue May 26, 2015 6:53 am

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!

OzTRADER

Posts : 55
Join date : 2015-03-24

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Re: Male/Female at ATM

Post by tissera on Tue May 26, 2015 3:17 pm

If your wife see this, you have to eat Kottu tonight and sleep in the car with a bottle on your lap.

tissera

Posts : 34
Join date : 2015-02-23

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